Thursday, February 09, 2006


I forgot. Last night I stopped at the store on my way home from errands, etc. It was around 7:30. I walked down an aisle and suddenly came upon a woman and a young girl looking at something, bent down, not looking at me. Thankfully. It was someone who used to be one of my closest friends. Some of the best years of my life were when she was my runing buddy. I haven't talked to her in at least 7 years, since before her second (and maybe last) child was born. Why? Because I have messed my life up so badly in so many ways I can't face her any more. I didn't want to have to pretend to be doing well, or pretend that my kids are doing well, or anything else. To me, she was a very blessed person. She had brains, looks, and was so nice it would be hard to imagine her life as being anything by idylic. I'm sure there are ups and downs to her life as there are with anyone's.

But I was a coward and turned and left the store without facing her. I have missed her so many times over the last 7 years. I wonder if she ever thinks of me? I hope so. Or knows what has been going on in my life? I hope not. I just look at it as a part of my life that is over and can't be gotten back.

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