Tuesday, October 23, 2007

RUNNING SCARED.

I recently used this phrase in a comment to another blogger friend. It got me thinking again about how it applied to my life.

In my other life, when I was a competitive runner, running scared is what kept me on my game, afraid to loose the edge, not wanting to let someone else in my age group, known or unknown, beat me. Running scared is why I ran in all kinds of weather, regardless. Running scared is why I did that last mile repeat or hill repeat, to keep ahead of the competition.

When injuries forced me to the sideline and later to the back of the pack, I realized I wasn't running scared any more. I didn't really care that much (yeah, I really did, but it was easier to just pretend not to).

Running scared is what helped me escape the deep depression I had fallen into a couple of years ago. Running scared is what helped me get back on track, for my own sake and that of my family, leading me to so many of you in the process.

Running scared is what has kept me on the bike path all year instead of the road in training, for fear something bad will happen again. Running scared is what kept me going after the accident, for fear I would never be able to do what I love so much again.

Running scared is what keeps me praying, keeps me healthy, keeps me motivated.

Running scared is what keeps me tri-ing and trying. Running scared is what keeps me young.

I believe that when you stop running scared, you've given up. Run scared.

8 comments:

jahowie said...

This is a great post. It makes so much sense. I'm so glad that you are getting your edge back.

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

Well, now I understand your intention behind the phrase.

But personally, I really just want to run happy. shrug.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Thanks for explaining this. I'm glad that you have your edge back too. I always think I would love to tri (I am a big swimmer) but the bike thing scares me...so many deaths. Then I read back and saw what you have gone through. I am so sorry that this happened, but you are one tough lady. Congrats on your comeback... you inspire me!

Flo said...

In many ways that is true. I think it gets truer as we get older. I know I'm running scared because I sure don't want "old age" to catch me, among other things. Good post!!!

WADDLER26.2 said...

How true that is.

SWTrigal said...

I can relate--I run scared cause the women in my family tend to die young..
:)

Phoenix said...

I try to run motivated - but when you get down to it, I suppose it is fear that motivates me - and the peace and freedom from fear that follows every run/swim/bike.

See Zanne Run said...

i hope you know how often i think of you & this statement. running scared is what keeps me from becoming too complacent. i ran happy & complacent all the time until i realized i could actually improve - get faster & better ... for me, its the whole worst case scenario thing - if you aren't scared that you might not make it, you might not make that split, you might not qualify, then what spurs you on? it's like the olympic athletes in their up-close & personal interviews that say, i am here to win the gold, i will win the gold & then sadly, they go home empty handed. i think there's a place for optimism & confidence, and happy but for me, there needs a healthy dose of scared to fuel the fire. and i never thought of it until you told me that a few months ago. but its so true.

i am glad you haven't given up & are still running scared!