Friday, January 30, 2009

Only one more day to go and most likely all the resolutionists--you know, the ones who resolve to hit the gym running on January 1, but by or before January 31, they're long gone. I couldn't help but laugh when I read this story.
Maybe you have a list of your own. So let's hear them!
I'll start with mine from worst to worst:
1. Male locker room attendant who after repeated complaints about and requests to NOT clean the women's locker room at 8 am, 12 pm, or 5 pm, or noon on Saturdays, still manages to be there without fail at those times.
2. The sweater/groaner on the cardio equipment next to you, sweating so hard he's flinging it all over you, and groaning so loudly you're not sure if he's going to have a heart attack but definitely blocking out sound in your headphones.
3. Women who can't use a hair dryer without replacing it to its holder on the wall. Just how hard is it to place it in its holder rather than on the counter or letting it fall into the sink?
4. Locker and cardio rooms that are consistently 79 degrees. I have been battling this one since the beginning of the month. You can't do anything without breaking out in a sweat.
5. Guys (always) who can't lift weights without dropping them on the floor after a set. When you can hear the boom of weights dropping on the floor when upstairs and in the shower and wonder if there's an earthquake happening, something's wrong.
6. People who do not clean the cardio equipment or spin bikes off after use. Just how many people do you think want to share your sweat?? Don't touch that!
7. People who hog all the overhead TVs and get on a piece of cardio equipment with a TV. Just how many news shows do you need to watch at one time??
8. Opera man. Every Saturday without fail he's in the weight room near the basketball court with his blaring opera music while he bounces a basketball over, and over, and over, and over ad infinitum, with it echoing up the steps and jarring your brain, annoying every inch of your being, and all the while doing nothing other than bouncing it.
9. The old guy who parks next to the door (he owns the parking lot) and then has someone from his office come pick him up and take him across the street to his office, where there is another parking lot he owns.
10. The parking lot czar (see above) who tells you he'd join you in the pool and hot tub if he had a suit. (Eww. TMI.)
I'd like to hear other gym horror stories, because I know we all have them!


Marlene said...

The woman who bathed in perfume before hitting the gym. *gag!* Nothing like taking in deep breaths of eau-de-whatever while working out.

bunnygirl said...

Well, let's see:

1. Know-It-All Man. Loves to give unsolicited females only, of course. Right, buddy. I've checked your form and it's obvious you don't know jack.

2. Bob-and-Weave Guy: Related to above. Lifts weights using the "full body" method, very fast, rocking and bobbing all over the place. Good way to strain a muscle AND show you don't know how to lift!

3. UK Guy or Gal: Will not, for any reason, keep to the right side of their lane, either on the track or in the pool, no matter how slow they're going.

4. The Butterfly: Even though the pool is crowded, with everyone sharing lanes, this fool will not be prevented from practicing the butterfly stroke.

5. Couch Potato: Hogs the equipment without actually using it and just sits there instead.

6. The Cool Kids: Too inexperienced to know the rules of the gym or how to use the equipment, but way too hip to actually ask. So instead, they just annoy and get in the way, tossing off scornful looks at anyone who gets impatient with them.

AKA Alice said...

Yeah...that's why I quit my gym membership and invested in a treadmill and some free weights instead.

The 79ยบ locker room used to just KILL me!

ShirleyPerly said...

Well, I only go to my gym to go swimming usually and lately there's only been one other person around, the lifeguard. However, there's one lifeguard that's WAAAAY too talkative. He knows me by name and is so bored that he sits at the end of the lane waiting to talk to me when I take a break. 30 sec rest intervals become 3 minutes!

Calyx Meredith said...

The perfume lady or cologne guy or the SMOKER - that gets me. The waves of stench rolling off of them choke me and I have to interrupt my workout to go to another corner of the gym in order to breathe. Naturally the odiferous one somehow usually manages to follow in a minute or two. Gah!

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

bunnygirls description of bob-and-weave guy is who annoys me..mostly b/c those bob-and-weave ones strut all over like they're all that when they really don't know what they are doing!