SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MISSING.
Thinking back to my recent training runs and comparing them to the half marathon last weekend, I couldn't help but wonder why the race had gone pretty well. I was happy with it. I hadn't been happy with my training runs. Only one, I felt, had gone well enough to get me by. This week, I think I finally figured it out, like a lightbulb going off or one of those "you could have had a V8" moments.
I had fun at the race. My training runs hadn't been fun, and part of that was because I hadn't let myself have fun. I think I struggled so much last year the fun just got sucked out of me. I totally lost the point of why I run or do races.
And then another thing happened yesterday, when I ran into a woman from the running club. I congratulated her on her Boston finish. She said she was happier with her time this year than last, but it was going to "cost" her in the 25k next weekend. "I just know I'm not going to have a good race next weekend." I said to her that having just run Boston, her time in the 25k would be proportionate to her ability and recovery, and not to worry so much.
Worry has been my middle name the last year or so. I've worried about being slower; I've worried about others being faster, mainly in the age group; I've worried about not being able to do it any more. What I should have been doing was worrying about why I wasn't having fun.
All I could think of today on my run was all the "fun" I used to have training, before training became a chore. But it was fun because I ran with others, so training became secondary to having a good time. Again, I have been so consumed with not being fast enough, I haven't allowed myself to run with anyone any more. And, unfortunately, I am pretty slow, so it would be hard to find too many people to run with anyway. So then, how will I have fun with my running again?
The thought occurred to me that I should be entering races and using them for my training runs, instead of being afraid because I think I'm too slow. That way, I'll have lots of company and hopefully will have some fun with my workouts again.
So what do you think? Good idea?