I'M NO HERO
Those are words I did not want to hear someone say about me connected to this IM training. When I think of a hero, its someone who saves someone from some catastrophe, or who puts their life on the line for others. Make no mistake, Ironman training is not about that. Its a totally selfish pursuit of a goal or dream. Amazing maybe. Remarkable possibly. But hero? No.
The day is getting close, the training winding down, and still there seems to be so much to do. Not only do I have the usual checklist of gear to assemble, the car to get checked out, and confirmations to be made on the place to stay, but I also have a hectic week and then some of work, with last minute deadlines and staying late to finish up, as well as Halloween festivities with the grandkids and a bridal showeron Sunday before I leave, all cutting into my reserves of energy I am trying to restore. And that doesn't even take into account getting ready for my son's wedding the Saturday after my race. I have errands to run every night after work and some lunch hours as well. I will get back into town late on Tuesday and will need to be back at work on Wed. and Thurs. and take Friday off again for the wedding on Saturday. Time is slipping away from me and it is not helping keep me distracted.
People are asking me daily about the event, making me feel pressured now about my performance and not letting anyone down, making me worry about finishing, or at least finishing within the deadlines. I know I have spent the better part of this year training, but I also feel some mistakes were made along the way, and I am hoping they don't come back to haunt me on race day. And yet, there are things I still have not done and am not likely to get done in the next less than a week before I leave.
Two nights of insomnia haven't helped either, again tapping into my reserve energy stores.
So no, I don't feel like a hero. I feel rather somewhat unprepared and nervous about not living up to my own expectations. But, ready or not, here I come.