THIS ONE'S FOR YOU DAVID.

Four years ago today, my life and that of my family was shattered by the suicide of my son-in-law, David.

This came at the end of spring break week, where my sister and I took the kids (including my grandson) to New York City for a week-long tour. We had a great time, seeing all the sights, all of which were new to my sister and her kids. We did the usual touristy things: visit the Statue of Liberty; go to the Empire State Building; visit Wall Street; go on a walking tour of the city that included Central Park; visit NBC Studios for a tour; shop the Hershey store; go to Toys 'R Us to ride the ferris wheel; and one of our most fun spots was a visit to the Wax Museum.

When we got back home, we learned the news. It had happened that day. I can't convey the shock and grief that came over me and my family, something that hung on for quite a long time in fact.

Without going into detail of those years, I couldn't help but think today, as I was out running in the cool morning air, of the runs I had gone on with David. David who was fleet of feet in a way I never was, even at my best, who had so much potential. David who had so much joie d'vivre. David who also fell to the depths of depression, farther than we ever knew.

I couldn't help but think too about all the years of depression I had gone through over this and other life events previously, and yet here I was, as sane and whole as someone could be under the circumstances. But yet, for some reason he lost something or got lost along the way. One of those things we will never know and never understand.

What made me different from David? What helped me cope and survive and never once think of ending it like he did? Many reasons, I'm sure, but I have to give credit to my belief and faith in God, and the gift I was given 20 years ago: the gift of running and later triathlon.

Because that's how I view my athletic self. And I do know it is what finally got me back on track.

So David, I'm sorry for the way things turned out for you. I wish I could have helped or done something. But I had to move on with my life, and so today, this run's for you.